THE HOLIDAY SHOPPING SEASON officially starts next Friday (affectionately referred to as “Black Friday” in the retail world).
Just in case someone reading this is shopping for ME, please note that none of the following items — no matter how nicely wrapped — should placed under my Christmas tree.
THE HEINZ BEANZAWAVE — billed as “the worlds smallest microwave oven” — contains a USB port so snacks can be heated up at the computer “without expending excess power.”
The $160 device was devised for use with one product: Heinz Snap Pots — baked beans in single-serving containers.
THE EZ CRACKER egg cracker is truly baffling. Are there people who are frightened of touching eggs?
How can this wacky device be a money-making venture? (Then again, four-million Snuggies have been sold… )
Perhaps tube-watching folks buy the EZ Cracker simply for the added “free bonus” of a Bacon Wave (as seen on TV!). It’s a $20 value!
THE SMOKING GUN adds “natural cool smoke” flavor to foods without the use of a heat source.
The manufacturer suggests using the gun to infuse meats, fish, vegetables, cheeses — and even cocktails — with different smoke aromas.
Is anybody ready for an Applewood-smoked Bloody Mary or a cigar-smoke infused Manhattan?
I didn’t think so…
THE FIZZ is a plastic cup you fill with ice cream, slap on the lid, add a straw and screw everything on the top of a plastic soda pop bottle.
Then you squeeze the bottle to fizz everything up.
I’ll hazard a guess that I might have found this type of thing of interest when I was six years old.
For the last few years, however, I’ve found there are much better ways to spend $7.99.
THE PUR FLAVORED WATER filtration system was voted “2009 product of the year” by the Consumer Survey of Product Innovation.
“Flavor cartridges” come in grape, strawberry, peach, lemon and raspberry.
Yummy preservatives are included at no extra charge!
THE HAM DOGGER.
What kind of sick mind came up with this?
There oughta be a law.
Would you like fries with that?
Guilty pleasures…
